Release the Drowning Feeling of Overwhelm and Swim to Shore!

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In the final blog of the series on overwhelm, we’ve decided to include an interview with Sylvia about the challenges of overwhelm and how she can help!

In your experience with managers and executives, how often are professionals feeling overloaded and overwhelmed? Do you find that it’s a sporadic occurrence or an ongoing challenge?

Overload and overwhelm have become a way of “life” in America, especially over the last decade.  So for most people it is an ongoing, persistent challenge that’s like a noose around their necks.   Much of this has to do with the widespread—and expected—use of electronic devices that allow us to be accessible to others 24/7.  Further, professionals’ “to-do” lists are impossibly long, leaving them with the feeling that they are never done with anything.  That lack of closure creates high levels of stress that cause people to feel like they are suffocating.  Between the 24/7 access factor and the giant never ending “to-do” lists folks often experience an inability to truly relax.  And that’s a problem!

How can executive coaching help those who are feeling overloaded and overwhelmed?

During a coaching engagement I initially work with clients to identify their root causes of overload and overwhelm.  Then we look at their personal core values, personal and professional priorities, and their company’s values and priorities.  This leads to conversation around viable time management strategies.  As a coach, I guide people through various processes to get underneath the real issues and then help them to proactively create a “living calendar” that serves them, their families, and their employers more efficaciously.  Depending upon how long they are coaching with me, I hold clients accountable to the decisions they made.  Having an accountability partner makes everything stick.  When people get off track, the accountability partner facilitates the process for getting them back on the track they’ve chosen.  I have found that the accountability piece makes all the difference.

Tell us about the workbook. Why did you develop it and how can it be used?

Recently I created a downloadable, easy to digest workbook that reveals 10 strategies that can help people to gain some control over their pervasive feelings of overload and overwhelm.  I produced this product because I know that overwhelm is “killing” most of us today.  Completely inundated with obligations, demands, and tasks, folks feel like they are swimming upstream every single day—and many secretly believe they are drowning.  As a result, they are fatigued, angry, frustrated, bored, and sick.  Putting one foot in front of the other with no relief in sight isn’t a life.  It’s a painful existence. The strategies in the workbook and the exercises that correspond with each of them are designed to show people a way out of the craziness they’ve allowed to consume them.  The beauty of this workbook lies in its structure and format:  users can choose to work through it at their own pace:  over a weekend, a week, a month, or several months.  Whatever is appropriate for their schedules and whatever serves them best… Click here for more information.

Strategies for Reducing Overwhelm

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Feeling overloaded and overwhelmed? This YouTube clip provides a few strategies people can practice to reduce their sense of overwhelm.

We’ve also decided to reach out to a few alternative health providers to see if they can offer suggestions for releasing the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual feeling of overwhelm. Below are their responses. We hope their solutions offer relief for those of you experiencing overwhelm.

Rickie Freedman, Reiki by Rickie

We have all experienced challenging times in our lives. It is helpful for me to remember to breathe deeply and take one moment at a time. I take a few deep breaths and say to myself “In this moment, I choose Peace.” Sometimes I need to repeat it several times. I know that I have a choice, and if I want to help other people and situations heal, I must be in a calm, Peaceful place myself.

I also try to remember that what may seem like an obstacle at the time can often turn out to launch our greatest growth. We gain strengths that we might not have otherwise. In retrospect, we realize that all our experiences lead to exactly where we are meant to be now. A helpful affirmation is “In this moment, all is well. I trust that all is exactly as it is meant to be.”

Ann Dennison, Advanced Physical Therapy and Fitness

One way to control the feelings of overwhelm so many of us experience is physical exercise. Exercise increases the body’s production of “feel good hormones” which help control the feelings associated with overwhelm, anxiety and depression.  The exercise doesn’t have to be prolonged or overly vigorous to be beneficial. A simple walk around the block or the office building can help.

Batbayar Damdin, L.Ac., Tian Shi Acupuncture

Regular acupuncture treatments can help you to deal with the day-to-day stresses of life which in turn can help to alleviate a state of being overwhelmed. Acupuncture treats the whole person – body, mind, and spirit and is a safe, natural, effective way to combat overwhelm.  Acupuncture can help you to achieve a general sense of calm and well-being. It can strengthen your body, and it leaves you feeling relaxed, refreshed, and energized.

What ways have you been able to reduce feelings of overwhelm?

Tired of Being Sick and Tired?

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Feeling overloaded and overwhelmed is a common experience for professionals today.  Most of my coaching clients are overwhelmed by both work related and personal demands too much of the time.  This leaves them fatigued, uninspired, bored, and stuck.  It also fills them with great anxiety and suspicions of inadequacy.

I, personally, have known periods of excruciating overwhelm in my life.  They were times of enormous struggle and fear.  Never again do I want to be in that place—and, if I find myself there, I have made the commitment to do whatever it takes to get out of it.

On a scale of one to ten, with ten representing the highest intensity of overwhelm, what number would you assign to your own circumstances over the last month or so?  Any score of eight or above means it’s time to pay attention to your situation.  It’s time to make some necessary changes.

Look at the list below and identify your personal reasons for feeling overwhelmed:

• Trying to be everything to everybody
• Being unclear about your core values and priorities
• Striving to increase your value in your boss’s eyes
• Needing to feel important
• Attempting to forget painful situations or feelings of emptiness
• Struggling to focus on too many things at once
• Underestimating how much time it takes to do something
• Jamming your calendar full of countless tasks and activities
• Refusing to say “no” to anyone
• Resisting the need to set appropriate boundaries
• Failing to release other people’s agendas

Know that you don’t have to stay stuck in this frustrating place of anxiety and fear.  There is a way out.  Constant overwhelm is a choice—a vicious cycle that only YOU can interrupt or stop.

To help you break this cycle, I’ve developed a downloadable workbook, which provides ten strategies you can use immediately. You may work through these strategies at your own pace, but in order for them to work you must make change a priority and you must take action now. Relief from overwhelm is just a click away and for the low cost of only $29. Stay tuned – this workbook will be available in the coming weeks!

Emotional Intelligence: A Critical Pillar to Self-Management

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The final of the four-part series on self-management is about emotional intelligence. This is a topic I have learned a lot about and have included some information in a Q&A below.

Can emotional intelligence be “learned”?

Yes, unlike IQ which cannot be altered, emotional intelligence (EQ) can be learned and enhanced.  There are four components of EQ:  self awareness, self management, social awareness, and relationship management.  There are specific strategies that people can implement to increase their EQ in any one of those components.

In your YouTube video , you mention that self-management as it relates to emotional intelligence is about managing your emotions and putting a positive spin on tough circumstances.  Sounds easier said than done.  Practice would be a good way to start, but what other tips can you give for managing emotions?

A good place to start would be to know yourself intimately and recognize what triggers certain emotions and reactions within you.  Another tip is to use reason along with emotion to deal with tough circumstances.  You can also train yourself to anticipate or expect some difficult situations rather than assume that life owes you a bowl of cherries every day.   This doesn’t mean you live in fear of what’s coming next; it simply means that you learn to accept life as a combination of pleasant, easier times and challenging, more rugged times.

In your E-zine article, “Executive Intelligence – Beyond IQ”  you state, “Executives need to develop a heightened form of critical thinking, specifically a set of aptitudes and cognitive skills in three main areas: accomplishing tasks, working with and through other people, and changing their own behavior after honestly assessing it.”  The first two are a no-brainer, but the third one is interesting. Tell us more about how executives must assess and change their own behavior.

One of the best ways executives—or anyone in a management position—can assess their behaviors is by hiring a consultant/coach to conduct a 360 degree assessment.  A 360 involves interviewing perhaps ten different employees representing various layers of the organization, using the same list of questions with each person.  The questions are fashioned in such a way as to get underneath the manager’s skills, strengths, weaknesses, and behaviors.  A report that summarizes all of the responses is then submitted to the manager, highlighting significant patterns and trends.  What I especially like about 360s is that they provide the manager with unfiltered truth as observed and experienced by the staff.  A manager who takes the 360 results seriously can work on changing behaviors that need to be addressed by working with a good coach over a period of months or a year.

How would you recommend subordinates handle working for an executive who might lack emotional intelligence?

This depends upon which EQ component(s) the executive or manager lacks or needs to improve.  For example, if someone has noticed that her boss lacks social awareness, she can make sure she verbally communicates her feelings, needs, and preferences very clearly, in a respectful but direct way.  She cannot rely upon her boss to observe her reactions to situations and draw accurate conclusions.  She may say something like:  “I just want to clarify with you how much I disagree with Tom’s idea for how we might move forward with the project you introduced yesterday during team meeting.”