Employees and Managers: Time for the “Unfiltered Truth” about Job Satisfaction and Competency

This week, we begin a new series about knowing if you are suited for the right job or position. In this YouTube clip, I answer the question: What are some of the emotional indicators that a person may not be in the right job?

Below are three questions, related to this topic. My answers reflect some of the emotional indicators discussed in the video.

1. What role does emotional intelligence play in finding the right job or position?

 Finding the right job requires a solid sense of self awareness, which is the foundational component of emotional intelligence.  You have to know what kind of person you are, how you feel about many different things, and how you react and respond to a variety of situations.  If you are not in touch with your inner self—if you are detached from who you are—then you can expect to land jobs that just aren’t right for you.  If there is a pattern of “wrong jobs” in your life, it may be because you are taking jobs that are not in alignment with the REAL YOU.  Whenever you take actions or make decisions that are out of alignment with who you are at the core, then you open yourself up to disappointment, frustration, and failure.  For example, if you are not a people person, then it wouldn’t make sense for you to accept a customer service position even if offered.

2. When you are coaching an executive, can you tell when his or her employees are unhappy? How do you approach the subject and what guidance do you offer him or her?

Frequently people in management roles hire me to help them learn how to motivate and engage their staff in a way that yields the results they and their companies need to get.  However, even when managers don’t specifically hire me for this type of work, I make it a point to inquire up front about their relationships with employees and the level of staff satisfaction they observe on a daily basis.  So the bottom line is that I don’t wait for the subject to come up during coaching sessions.  I ask about this directly.  I do it because staff satisfaction is a critical foundation for optimal productivity, creativity, and retention.

When it is clear that a manager’s employees are generally unhappy (or even just a few of them), I coach the manager around specific strategies for increasing motivation and engagement as well as content for conversations the person may choose to have with particular employees or all of them.  Employee dissatisfaction cannot be ignored.  Not without a big price.  It must be dealt with, the sooner the better.

3. Have you ever met an executive who was not meant to be a supervisor? How do you handle this?

There are lots of executives and mid level managers who are not well matched to their positions.  In fact, this is a common situation, unfortunately.  If a company is paying me to coach such a person, then I tell the folks who hired me that my professional opinion is that this person should not be supervising staff.  And I am very clear about the reasons supporting my statement.  If a manager hires me on his own and I discover that he should not be supervising employees, then I am candid with this individual in a way that he can hear.  Credible coaching always includes “the unfiltered truth”, but it needs to be communicated professionally– and with empathy.

Emotional Intelligence Vital to Business Success

Have you heard the term EQ?  No, not the equalizer on your stereo; it’s your Emotional Intelligence. While nearly everyone has heard of and understands what IQ is, there is an almost more important quotient that you need to be worried about in today’s business world…EQ.

The hard skills required for nearly every job are changing. Not so much in that the work is different, more so that soft skills, those skills that are more about the relationship building than the actual product, are becoming today’s hard skills.

You must now not only learn the necessary physical and mental skills required for a job, but also the emotional skills required to keep and enhance relationships. You must become self-aware, socially-aware, as well as understand the concepts of self- and relationship management. Check out this video where I discuss the pitfalls of having high IQ and low EQ.

I will quickly cover what those four concepts mean and then follow up with a few strategies to help you enhance your EQ. Here’s a link to my discussion with the PA Institute of Certified Public Accountants on these concepts.

Self-Awareness – This concept focuses on understanding what you are feeling at a certain time and why you are feeling that way.  It is the ability to look within to understand how situations affect you.

Social-Awareness – This concept is much like self-awareness but focuses on how others in proximity to you and your situation are feeling and why. It is the ability to read a room.

Self-Management – This is the ability to manage your emotions in any situation.   It comes first from being self-aware and then having the ability to put the relationship before yourself.

Relationship-Management – It is your ability to communicate in a way that nurtures and preserves current  relationships and allows you to grow new relationships.

Some strategies to focus on to enhance your EQ are relatively simple.   It’s likely you already utilize a few of them in your daily life now. Check out this discussion on these strategies from my engagement with the PICPA.

The first strategy is bonding. Try to find a common thread in the first 60 seconds. If you find a common thread quickly, it not only allows for easier conversation but also bonds you to the person on an emotional level.

Second is making the most of ALL situations.   Don’t focus only on situations that are easy.   Make the most of all situations regardless of how difficult, and you will be more successful.

Finally, work with the colleagues who annoy you. I’m sure you just looked away from the screen and said, “Wait, what?” Think about it. You are ALWAYS being watched by those above you.  If you show that you can move beyond your feelings and still get the job done, you are making quite a positive impression on your bosses.

So remember, your soft skills are quickly becoming today’s hard skills.  Maybe you can do the physical and mental side of your position,  but so can numerous others.   It is your emotional intelligence that not only will set you apart but also will move you ahead in today’s business world.

Emotional Intelligence: A Critical Pillar to Self-Management

The final of the four-part series on self-management is about emotional intelligence. This is a topic I have learned a lot about and have included some information in a Q&A below.

Can emotional intelligence be “learned”?

Yes, unlike IQ which cannot be altered, emotional intelligence (EQ) can be learned and enhanced.  There are four components of EQ:  self awareness, self management, social awareness, and relationship management.  There are specific strategies that people can implement to increase their EQ in any one of those components.

In your YouTube video , you mention that self-management as it relates to emotional intelligence is about managing your emotions and putting a positive spin on tough circumstances.  Sounds easier said than done.  Practice would be a good way to start, but what other tips can you give for managing emotions?

A good place to start would be to know yourself intimately and recognize what triggers certain emotions and reactions within you.  Another tip is to use reason along with emotion to deal with tough circumstances.  You can also train yourself to anticipate or expect some difficult situations rather than assume that life owes you a bowl of cherries every day.   This doesn’t mean you live in fear of what’s coming next; it simply means that you learn to accept life as a combination of pleasant, easier times and challenging, more rugged times.

In your E-zine article, “Executive Intelligence – Beyond IQ”  you state, “Executives need to develop a heightened form of critical thinking, specifically a set of aptitudes and cognitive skills in three main areas: accomplishing tasks, working with and through other people, and changing their own behavior after honestly assessing it.”  The first two are a no-brainer, but the third one is interesting. Tell us more about how executives must assess and change their own behavior.

One of the best ways executives—or anyone in a management position—can assess their behaviors is by hiring a consultant/coach to conduct a 360 degree assessment.  A 360 involves interviewing perhaps ten different employees representing various layers of the organization, using the same list of questions with each person.  The questions are fashioned in such a way as to get underneath the manager’s skills, strengths, weaknesses, and behaviors.  A report that summarizes all of the responses is then submitted to the manager, highlighting significant patterns and trends.  What I especially like about 360s is that they provide the manager with unfiltered truth as observed and experienced by the staff.  A manager who takes the 360 results seriously can work on changing behaviors that need to be addressed by working with a good coach over a period of months or a year.

How would you recommend subordinates handle working for an executive who might lack emotional intelligence?

This depends upon which EQ component(s) the executive or manager lacks or needs to improve.  For example, if someone has noticed that her boss lacks social awareness, she can make sure she verbally communicates her feelings, needs, and preferences very clearly, in a respectful but direct way.  She cannot rely upon her boss to observe her reactions to situations and draw accurate conclusions.  She may say something like:  “I just want to clarify with you how much I disagree with Tom’s idea for how we might move forward with the project you introduced yesterday during team meeting.”