Dear Sylvia:Our department lost an employee and we are drowning in overwhelm! Help!

Dear Sylvia,

My company has cut back and our department lost one employee. Although my supervisor and other administrators know we cannot provide the same level of support and do everything that was done before, they still seem to be holding us to the same expectations they had when there were six employees instead of five. I have talked to them several times and explained we are all working extra and doing more than ever but still can’t keep up with the large workload and new initiatives. My department is drowning in overwhelm. How can I make them understand and adjust their expectations or provide additional help?

Dear Frustrated and Overwhelmed:

The situation you describe is both extremely common and challenging. Unfortunately, the economic crisis and slow recovery over the last three years has served as the catalyst for dramatic change in most companies across the nation. These dramatic changes have increased the stress experienced by millions of employees. While there are no easy answers to this problem, I think seeking clarity about your work-related priorities is essential. Because there are only so many hours in a day, I recommend that you engage your direct supervisor in conversation about what he/she sees as YOUR top five priorities, for example. Once you are clear about them (preferably in ranked order), you can organize your time in alignment with those priorities. Focusing on the identified priorities can help to reduce feelings of overwhelm, allowing you to be more productive in the long run. Although administrators/managers may want the work to flow as seamlessly as it once did, the reality of our times does not permit that. Trying to function as if you had more employees than you do sets all of you up for burnout. A plan for coping must be made.

My second recommendation is that you look for specific ways to nurture and care for yourself in the midst of this chronic stress. Schedule half an hour into each day when you do something just for you.

You must build it into your calendar or it won’t happen. Your body, mind, emotions, and spirit need refreshment on a regular basis or you risk getting sick. These half hour periods may revive your energy, boost your motivation, and prevent you from sinking into a low level depression that will detract from your quality of life. Figure out what makes you feel good–even temporarily–and give yourself permission to experience them. I am not talking about buying expensive items that don’t provide long-term relief but rather reading an inspirational story, walking around the block, calling a friend, enjoying a chair massage, eating an ice cream cone, taking a bath. These kinds of things seem small, but if you treat yourself to one of them daily, they have the power to make a significant impact on your overall health, contentment, and wellbeing.

–Sylvia

Do you have a business question? Send your questions via email at dearsylvia@launchinglives.biz or by mail to 4902 Carlisle Pike, PMB 297, Mechanicsburg, PA 17050. Limit one question per person, please!

Constructive, Not Destructive: Tips for Handling Criticism in the Workplace

Receiving and delivering criticism can be a tense process if not handled properly by both the supervisor and the employee. However, teams that take a mature, team-oriented approach to criticism are much more likely to deliver excellent results in terms of individual growth and the success of the company. How teams deal with delivering and handling criticism makes the difference in whether the process becomes constructive or destructive.

To the manager

Here are a few suggestions for managers when delivering feedback to their employees:

• Focus on behavior rather than personality. It’s easier for people to respond to feedback positively when it related to “what they do” rather than “who they are.”
• Avoid taking ownership of an employee’s emotional response. No matter how skilled managers are at delivering feedback, some employees will almost always have a negative reaction.

• Practice what you preach. If you want your team to handle criticism properly, you must set a good example when receiving criticism of the company or your management style.

For more information about how managers can help employees use feedback to improve performance, watch this video.

To the employee

Here are a few suggestions for dealing with feedback from a manager or supervisor:

• Keep your temper in check. No one responds well to feedback when they are angry or upset. Do not automatically retreat to the negative side of the conversation. Instead, use it as an opportunity to improve your future performance.
• Objectively listen to the criticism and take active steps to improve your performance. Identify the specific areas that your manager wants to address and set specific goals to achieve.

• Check in with your boss after a period of time to make sure the steps you have taken are making a difference.

No one likes to be criticized, and even though you may have a boss who is quick to deliver negative feedback, delivering criticism is not fun either. By taking a level-headed, team approach to using feedback to improve performance, your company and your team will be more empowered to meet its full potential.

Choose Your Words Wisely: Insight from Dale Fallon, Founder of The Communication Gym®

We all know the language used in a conversation is important. It’s even more significant when we have to give negative feedback; we must choose our words carefully.

In this YouTube video, I discuss some of the language managers should use when they have to criticize an employee behavior or performance.

Dale Fallon

I’ve asked Dale Fallon of The Communication Gym® to offer some insight into language and communication. I recommend following his advice and using it as a roadmap to verbal and non-verbal conversations.  Below is the Q&A with Mr. Fallon.

Tell me about The Communication Gym® and your role within the business.

TCG is a training company focused on delivering business results for small business teams.  We teach fundamental and role specific communication skills that bring real world solutions to business owners.  I am the founder and President of The Communication Gym®.

In your opinion, how much weight does language carry in communication (versus other factors such as tone?)

As it relates to rapport and influence, up to 93 percent of communication is non-verbal (volume, pace, tone, and physiology).   Although it only references situational (specifically exerting influence and building rapport) it is still a surprising number.  With that being said there is a large part of the equation that includes the words you choose to communicate.  There are words and phrases that are hot buttons for some people.  There are also words and usage that will create a hostile environment vs. creating a trusting and open environment.  Non-verbal may be weighted higher than verbal, but the fact of the matter remains, it only takes one stone (a poorly chosen or misplaced word) to tip the scale.  The words you choose will have a large impact in the effectiveness of your communication.  Choose wisely!

Today, many communicate via email or by other electronic means.  Should language be stated differently when using electronic communication, as opposed to more traditional ways of communicating such as the telephone or a or face-to-face meeting?

I don’t think it should be stated differently as much as it should be prepared for differently.  In face to face interactions, or even phone interactions, you have the gift of immediate feedback.  When you express yourself, you are going to get an immediate response as to how it was received.  With this information you can make decisions and adjustments to your message.  Without the closed feedback loop you cannot adjust course or make clarifications to your message.  Once you hit “send,” it is out of your hands.  You have to pay more attention to how your audience is likely to interpret what you are saying, or how they could miss-interpret what you are saying.  The other component of electronic communication is that there is a permanent record of the communication. Think about who else could see this communication and how they could interpret it as well.

Can you give us some examples of language a manager should not use when criticizing an employee?

• Stay away from extreme language (always, never)
• Don’t use “loose” descriptions (i.e.  You are frequently late vs. you have been 15-20 minutes late three times in the last three weeks).  Use facts.
• Don’t use subjective language that points to personal judgments or character attacks.

What other advice or tips can you offer as it relates to language and communication?

• Practice awareness of your own language and the effect it has on others.  Too often we miss key lessons and learning opportunities because we are too focused on “getting through it” or “just get this over with.”
• Practice and prepare for key conversations.  Even if you are a seasoned manager, there are seeds of knowledge in your interactions and opportunities to grow with every conversation.
• When discussing consequences you can use two categories: natural consequences, and imposed consequences.  This helps you to focus behaviors on things that will keep you out of disciplinary actions while still affecting corrective action.

Judging and Labeling Go Beyond the Workplace

Do you the #1 mistake managers make when criticizing employees? You might be surprised that we are quick to label or judge them. My YouTube video explains this in more detail. Meanwhile, let me explain we tend to label employees, how can avoid it, and if there if this is a bigger societal problem, at large.

Why do you suppose we tend to label employees?

Bosses and entire organizations tend to label employees as good and bad, competent and incompetent, promising or unpromising, considerate or inconsiderate.   We label people simply because it’s quicker and easier.  Putting folks in categories takes less time and effort than considering the whole of them.  It’s rare to hear someone refer to a colleague or direct report as “very competent in project management responsibilities but less competent in sales ability.”

How can we avoid this generalization?

We can avoid making sweeping, general statements about people by stopping ourselves for a moment or two before we speak about them.  Pause long enough to think about and offer several observations related to an individual—not just one.  You may say something like:  “I find John to be unusually intelligent, creative, and thoughtful.  While he’s a great asset to our team, he seems to struggle with getting to work on time a couple of days each month.”  This approach is very different from saying “John is a tardy employee.”

Do you think labeling or judging others is a societal problem? If so, do you have any advice to help us begin to change our way of thinking?

Yes.  I do think our society judges others harshly and labels them freely.  This common habit is unfair, and it can damage people.  Think about it.  If your boss labels you as “inadequate, uncaring, or stupid”, what effect does that have on you?  Most likely, it cuts to your core.  It causes you to question yourself and your character or abilities.  It triggers a lot of self doubt.

This doesn’t serve you well.  And it certainly won’t serve the company well either.

What your boss needs to say to you is something like this:  “I am disappointed in your project results.  They don’t meet my expectations.  Usually you deliver exactly what I need, but this time you fell short.”  Do you see how this differs from calling you “inadequate” or “stupid” which implies an ongoing trend or theme?

 

 

 

Dear Sylvia: I Suspect My Employee is Not Being Honest

Dear Sylvia,

I have an employee who does strong work and shows enthusiasm for the job; however I believe this person is not being completely honest about the hours written on the timesheet when I’m not around. I have caught this once before and have said something, however I suspect it’s happening again. What should I do?

Signed,

New Boss

Dear New Boss:

Thank you for asking this important question.  I’m sure others also can benefit from my response to it.

My recommendation is that you design a time audit sheet to accompany the expense sheet.  The audit sheet requires employees to account for the specifics of what they are doing during a particular time block.  You may want to set it up in half hour increments.  Employees must complete the audit comprehensively, including each and every phone call.  I suggest that you ask people to do this for three consecutive months.  You can tell them that your purpose is to gain greater insight into how your company overall is spending its time.  This information will help you, as the business owner, to make more effective decisions going forward.

If you continue to have serious questions about how honestly one employee is completing his or her timesheet, I recommend that you speak privately with that person and express your concerns forthrightly.  Make sure you provide reasons for your questions.  Tell the person what you are observing and what leads you to draw these conclusions.  Ask the individual to tell you if your observations and conclusions are accurate.  In other words, probe for his or her side of the story.  Whatever you hear will undoubtedly be educational.  Finally, tell the employee exactly what you expect when folks fill out timesheets.  Be clear about the consequences to breaches of those expectations.  AND–document the conversation after it is over.

Do you have a business question? Send your questions via email at dearsylvia@launchinglives.biz or by mail to 4902 Carlisle Pike, PMB 297, Mechanicsburg, PA 17050. 

Finding Ways to ‘Flow’ At Work

By Peter Strella

In this YouTube video, Sylvia talks about her belief that “flow” is the No. 1 indicator that a person is truly in the right job or position. “Flow is when you are so focused on what you are doing, that no distractions short of the building burning down can possibly pull you away,” she says. Sylvia goes on to discuss how flow involves a “blissful sort of joy” and ease of creativity.

Rachel, Pete’s wife (left) Pete (center), and Mary Kelly (right) at a recent event

As a writer, I’m all too familiar with the importance of flow. I’ve been writing with a purpose ever since I can remember, whether that has meant answering essay questions or writing research papers for school, writing articles for my college newspaper or a local weekly news publication, or crafting press releases and video scripts for business purposes. All told, most of my life has been spent finding ways to let the words flow. As anyone who has experienced writer’s block can attest, finding that flow isn’t always easy.

And that’s what struck me about Sylvia’s comments. Finding flow has been a defining struggle in my professional career. My search for the perfect words has driven me to employ tactics as logical as taking quick breaks and as unconventional as performing my in-office stretching routine. Does this struggle mean that I’m not in the right career?

I wrestled with this question over the next few days before asking two questions that are more specific: Have I ever experienced flow? Do I have this “blissful sort of joy” when I get there? The answer to both questions was a resounding “yes,” so I’ve since redirected my thoughts to an even better question: How can I get there more often?

I’m happy that, since then, I’ve been able to pinpoint a few promising opportunities, ways to break down the dam and allow the river to roll easily into the ocean. Here are a few observations I made:

• Just Do It. As you can probably tell by this blog post, I do a lot of thinking. Sometimes that’s my biggest enemy because it keeps me from getting started. There is value in having a good plan, but there comes a point when simply diving in and getting your feet wet is the best way to find your flow.

• Don’t fight the flow. I’m a recovering perfectionist with instincts that drive me to perpetually search for something better. At work, I’ve succeeded because of this drive, but it has also prevented surrendering to the flow and letting it take me to where I need to be.

• Achieve Balance. I’ve realized that I could probably benefit from having more “flow” in my life away from work. My career is very important to me and I want to put my best foot forward at every moment. But there are many times when I’m so exhausted from work that I’m not up for doing much when I get home. Finding constructive outlets – such as writing creatively, playing guitar and exercising more frequently – has helped me recently to find flow at home so that I can find it more often at work.

What ways can you think of to help find flow at the workplace?

Pete Strella works in Rite Aid’s Creative Media Services department, based at the company’s corporate headquarters in Camp Hill, Pa. He manages the retail pharmacy chain’s employee newsletter and supports internal video and web communications.

The Role of the Manager in Employee Satisfaction

This week, we continue the discussion of how to know if you are suited to a particular job or position.  Please take a moment to watch this clip to learn some of the practical indicators that a person may be in the wrong job or position.

Management consultant, Peter Drucker, says, “The productivity of work is not the responsibility of the worker but of the manager.” The duty of a manager is not simply the delegation of responsibility, but the continuous challenging of one’s employees to rise above the level of mediocrity.  This is a task that is often overlooked by many people in management positions.  It is natural to get caught up in your own responsibilities and commitments and remove yourself from the work your employees are doing. By paying a little more attention to your employees, you can determine whether there is something that they can do better or even whether or not they belong in that position at all.

There are some simple questions that you should ask yourself in order to determine that your employees belong with your company.  Do they show up to work on time?  Do they take sick days?  If so, how frequently?  Are they motivated and fully engaged? Do they conduct themselves in a professional manner?  Do they respond well to constructive criticism?  These may seem like obvious questions, but most executives and managers neglect to ask them and think about them critically.

Moving forward, do they understand core concepts and ideas related to your business?  Do they understand basic instructions?  These questions are a bit less obvious and even harder to find definite answers for.  It’s a frequent occurrence that an employee will be given a task by his or her manager that he or she does not understand.  Instead of the employee simply telling the manager that the task is not understood, he or she will simply go off and try to figure it out on his or her own, so as to not seem incompetent.  This kind of behavior results in decreased productivity and wasted time.  Looking back to Drucker, this is the responsibility of the manager.  You must make sure that your employees understand exactly what is expected of them. You can make sure employees understand what is expected of them by simply asking them to explain the work back to you, the manager.

Your time is valuable, and you should not need to watch employees’ every move; however, you should be assessing yourself, your employees and the workload regularly to make sure everyone is on the same page.  If you have to explain something multiple times, then this person may not be a good fit for your company.  Someone may be a good fit for a company but not a good fit for a particular position there.  Maybe the person needs to be matched to another job within that company.  The person may not need to leave the entire company, just a particular job there. It is crucial that you find the proper balance between the laissez-faire approach that could keep you from seeing that an employee is not for you and the micromanagement approach that very often leads to resentment on the part of the worker.

Employees and Managers: Time for the “Unfiltered Truth” about Job Satisfaction and Competency

This week, we begin a new series about knowing if you are suited for the right job or position. In this YouTube clip, I answer the question: What are some of the emotional indicators that a person may not be in the right job?

Below are three questions, related to this topic. My answers reflect some of the emotional indicators discussed in the video.

1. What role does emotional intelligence play in finding the right job or position?

 Finding the right job requires a solid sense of self awareness, which is the foundational component of emotional intelligence.  You have to know what kind of person you are, how you feel about many different things, and how you react and respond to a variety of situations.  If you are not in touch with your inner self—if you are detached from who you are—then you can expect to land jobs that just aren’t right for you.  If there is a pattern of “wrong jobs” in your life, it may be because you are taking jobs that are not in alignment with the REAL YOU.  Whenever you take actions or make decisions that are out of alignment with who you are at the core, then you open yourself up to disappointment, frustration, and failure.  For example, if you are not a people person, then it wouldn’t make sense for you to accept a customer service position even if offered.

2. When you are coaching an executive, can you tell when his or her employees are unhappy? How do you approach the subject and what guidance do you offer him or her?

Frequently people in management roles hire me to help them learn how to motivate and engage their staff in a way that yields the results they and their companies need to get.  However, even when managers don’t specifically hire me for this type of work, I make it a point to inquire up front about their relationships with employees and the level of staff satisfaction they observe on a daily basis.  So the bottom line is that I don’t wait for the subject to come up during coaching sessions.  I ask about this directly.  I do it because staff satisfaction is a critical foundation for optimal productivity, creativity, and retention.

When it is clear that a manager’s employees are generally unhappy (or even just a few of them), I coach the manager around specific strategies for increasing motivation and engagement as well as content for conversations the person may choose to have with particular employees or all of them.  Employee dissatisfaction cannot be ignored.  Not without a big price.  It must be dealt with, the sooner the better.

3. Have you ever met an executive who was not meant to be a supervisor? How do you handle this?

There are lots of executives and mid level managers who are not well matched to their positions.  In fact, this is a common situation, unfortunately.  If a company is paying me to coach such a person, then I tell the folks who hired me that my professional opinion is that this person should not be supervising staff.  And I am very clear about the reasons supporting my statement.  If a manager hires me on his own and I discover that he should not be supervising employees, then I am candid with this individual in a way that he can hear.  Credible coaching always includes “the unfiltered truth”, but it needs to be communicated professionally– and with empathy.

Dear Sylvia: How can I step up and voice my concerns without jeopardizing my job?

It’s time to reveal our next “Dear Sylvia” question and answer. Be sure to check the bottom of this post for further instructions on submitting your “Dear Sylvia” questions.

Dear Sylvia,

There is a huge disconnect and generational gap in our office and I can feel the walls crumbling in around our business! Our principal is at retirement age and the majority of our staff is, on average, about30 years old. In the last couple of years our business has expanded to include different market sectors, but we have no business or transition plan in place, which makes employees nervous and leaves them unmotivated. With recent staffing changes, there has been no explanation of how responsibilities and goals will be met. Our staff is unhappy and our management team is going in different directions. I am a leader by nature, so in my “middle-management” position, how can I step up and voice my concerns without overstepping and jeopardizing my job? I am afraid we will lose some of our key employees if the atmosphere at the office does not improve. Please, help us!

Signed: At the End of My Rope

Dear “At the End of My Rope:”

The KEY to dealing with your difficult, frustrating, and scary question lies in the ART OF QUESTIONING.

I don’t know how much practice you’ve had in asking the right question at the right time for the right reason.

I suggest that you begin to ask a series of meaningful open-ended questions of your principal during team/staff meetings (assuming you have them).

Here are a few examples:  “What does our future look like?  Where are we headed? How will we get there?”  You can follow those questions with statements such as “I’ve been noticing that our internal culture is shifting, and all of us know that there is a great deal of global instability.  Change is real and certain.  “How do you envision that we will deal with this over the next six months?  The next year?”

You can also express a need for receiving greater clarity about your own role in the business going forward.  When doing this, be sure to focus on YOUR needs rather than on the principal’s deficiencies and oversights.  Say something like:  “I want to make ongoing, meaningful contributions here, and to do that I could benefit from more clarity around X, Y, Z.”

Finally, I would recommend that your entire staff engage in a SWOTT Analysis, an intensive exercise that identifies your company’s strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats, and trends.  This is a great way to prepare for the future–and a responsible forerunner to a credible strategic/business plan.  You could suggest this to your principal by asking:  “Do you see any value in conducting a SWOTT Analysis over the next few months?  I’m thinking this could be really useful to all of us as we plan ahead.”

To sit back and say absolutely nothing puts you and your colleagues in a very vulnerable position!  But your questions and ideas must be delivered with finesse, diplomacy, and great care.

–Sylvia

Do you have a business question? Send your questions via email at dearsylvia@launchinglives.biz or by mail to 4902 Carlisle Pike, PMB 297, Mechanicsburg, PA 17050.  Limit one question per person, please!

Self-Awareness is the First Step to Inspiring Others to Greatness

If someone had to describe your level of professionalism and business behavior– right now – what would they say? I want you to think about that for a minute…

Are you considering a few things you might like to change? Perhaps you aren’t sure how others would view you, but you know how you would describe yourself. I am asking you to think about this because awareness is the first step to having a positive effect on others.

In this video clip, I answer the question, “If managers only did one thing that could inspire their staff to greatness, what would you say that one thing should be?”

You’ll need to start by paying attention to your professional image.  If you are wearing jeans to work and showing up late, you are projecting an image of your business that professionalism is not a high standard for you and thus should also not be a high standard of your employees. You must model exemplary behavior in order for those actions to be reciprocated.

Your professional image extends beyond clothing. You should be projecting a persona that you would want others to repeat. Think about the amount of confidence you have in both in your work and also with your relationships with clients and colleagues. Do you respect other people? And, do they respect you?

What about conflict? Do you have enough emotional intelligence to handle conflict without taking things personally or overreacting?

Also, do you have a passion for what you do or are you stuck in a rut? If you’re in a rut, you will not inspire anyone. Re-evaluate what you are doing and learn to find the enthusiasm you once had for your business.   As they say, “do what you do best and delegate the rest.”

Being aware of your behavior is critical. How you act and react not only affects you, but also the people around you. To be an inspiration, you have to do and be more than just average. You must have a professional image, be respected – and even liked – by your colleagues, make decisions and handle conflict appropriately and have a strong passion for your work.  I urge you to evaluate yourself first and foremost. Would you model your own behavior? Do you inspire yourself? Once you can answer these questions positively, you are ready to take the reins and inspire others.